Hope everything will be fine .

I didn't feeling right at all , feel like I'm so cheeky and shameless to stick with him . 

I know that we shouldn't to be together for her , 

But I just not willing to break up with him , I don't have the brave to say that I want to leave him . 

Because I love him , 

I Really LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOU GUYS CAN IMAGINE . 

But yesterday , I did it . 

I told him maybe we should separate for a while , to wait everything to be fine .

He asked me , what's the problem ? What had I did wrong ? 

I told him , thats not his fault . because of "......." ( I'm not thinking of wanna say about it ) . 

He said , you wanna break up with me just because of that little problem ? 

I was thinking * Little problem ??? Hye dear , thats not a little problem for me you know . * 

Then he said , If like that then I don't have any comment , it's your choice . 

When I saw that message , my tears couldn't stop for dropping , I don't know how to control it too . 

The friends around me keep on asking for don't break up ,

and say that's only a small problem , we can don't let her know everything .

But I just feel like something wrong within it . 

I don't want to be like this ,

If can I really want back to December .

Back to the moment that I really felt happy with them ,

especially him , and Marsha .

My sister , Marsha said that , "If you break then I break also , I meant what I said " 

It's because of the date that I couple with Dwayne is same as Marsha and JunJie ,

We're together in the town that time , 11 December 2010 .

The time we say that sister are always important than boys ,

so we made a promise ,

*No matter who is the first to break up with this relationship , the other one also must be the same , no matter how you love the boy . *

We really meant what we said .

 She cheer me up , she ask me don't give up the people that I really love , or else I will regret after .

He text me , he asked me 

" You know you say like this hurt me very deep ? "

" I though you remember these word * No matter what happen must be together"

I cried again , I still remember , and never forget !

I replied him ,

" I never forget about it , sorry .. it's my impulse to said that "

" I keep back what I said , sorry for hurt you so deep , no more break between us "

I really not willing to break , thats why I say I don't have the brave to leave him ,

because I don't want him to feel hurt .

For sure , I'll feel more hurt if I hurt him .

Sorry dear , I'm not purposely to said that ..

I just want to respect her ,

Hope you understand , I love you :')

Aries ♥

白羊座 ♥

爱一个人可以什么也不顾，恨一个人也不会听任何劝说之词。白羊座的冲动不是一时兴起，更是一种习惯。总是将自己置身于最热闹的地方，最欢快的场所，可是人群散去，只留下一个人静静的陪着自己的影子时，白羊却寂寞的疯狂。是的，他们的寂寞就是孤独。而孤独就是寂寞的唯一姿态。一个人背包去旅行的白羊，不是因为真的潇洒，而是因为孤独没人知，唯有大自然的回声。

It's really accurate .
Love a person can make me do everything for him , the important is what the way he like me to be . Even the thing that I don't really like , I'll do for him too . I don't care how the people around me look down on me , or say I become more rebellious after be with my boyfriend . Even my real sister also say like that when knew I do something bad . But I ignore , actually I care what she said , but I just acted like I don't care . And when I hate a person I will not change my mind to like him/her after heard somebody advise . I'll only change my mind when I really saw that his/her strength .

I like to be with a lot of friends , buddies . Because I really dislike to be alone , but sometime only got the songs to be my companion . I hate the feel of lonely , but it keep on happen to me . But I felt that I'm really stronger than before , I know the changes of myself , I know that I'm not easy to cry as last time . Not wont cry , is not that easy to cry . Iits really hard to endure the tears don't let it to drop down , but most of the times I did it . I don't want the people around me included him to feel that I'm so weak , always cry for a little problem . Ya , I used to be like that . But I really changed , changed to be stronger . Like this is the best way for me to face everything happened to me .

That's all I want to share with you guys today , see again next post  ♥

I don't know why .

I don't know how to describe my feeling or mood recently . Realize that the contents of my blog is keep on changing ? Sometime sad , sometime happy . I don't know why , this is what feeling that he gave me . Will not stay in the same mood for a long time . Today feel hurt , but maybe tomorrow turning sweet again .  

I can't blame on him for everytime that he make me feel hurt . Sometime he don't even know what I'm sad or angry for , I know it's because of he feel that what he didn't do anything wrong . So maybe is I too sensitive , like to think negative ways , but I not willing to tell him what I'm thinking .. Fake a smile and act strong is my habits when facing him . 


These few days sometime he will ignore me for awhile , but sometime he accompanied me , made me feel sweet , feel warm .  He asked me : Do you feel happy ? , I answered : Yes , got the feeling . why ? , He said : Nothing , I feel happy too .. Then he gave me a kissed ♥ . Really so happy and feel so sweet in the moment , but I worried that will disappointed once more , scared that someday he will start to treat me cool again .

But nevermind , at least you will not treat me cool for a long time :) ♥